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" Did she know she was the reason I was crying?" Of course she did, Jackie. Just settle down for a minute and listen."I crossed my arms under my chest. I didn't really feel like whatever lecture I was going to get."She was waiting in the living room for me when I got home last night. Do you have any idea how hard that was for her to do?" I guess." Jackie, she hasn't come out of her room alone except to go to the bathroom. And she's really had to struggle just to do that. For her to leave the safety of her room to wait for me by herself took a lot of courage." OK." She hurts, Jackie. She was crying on my shoulder last night because she hurt you." Then why does she keep shoving me away?" It's not that simple. Her body actually hurts if you or any other male gets too close to her. Those few times when she started crying, she told me she was ready to throw up if you hadn't left. Not that she wanted to throw up but that her body would do it because you were so close to her."She doesn't. It’s not the same as familial affection. When there’s attraction, you enter the personal space of the other with ease; bodies closer. There’s touching, gentle touching. Fingers brush arms, hands rest on backs, and spontaneous hugs are frequent and linger longer than friendly hugs.It’s impossible to miss the expression in eyes as you look at the other person. There’s softness and love at times, excitement at other times. And there are a plethora of other small signs: a soft sigh after a hug, a pause to watch the other in appreciation, soft contemplative smiles when you think the other person isn’t looking, and more.It’s an intense experience and, for me, made more so by the fact that this was with a fourteen-year-old girl. I was enchanted by her. I hadn’t experienced so many erections since I was a teenager - not hard erections, but those soft ones that come with arousal and desire for someone.Rachael’s blossoming sexual awareness was precious. The morning after our visit to the lake,.
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